"Galactic Update: Taurus, Brace Your Horns! Venus Retrograde Plans to Moo-ve Your Cheese!"
The next Taurus will start in 209 days, at Saturday, 20 April, 2024
The Moon moves to Taurus in 7 days, at Sunday, 01 October, 2023
Mercury moves to Taurus in 235 days, at Thursday, 16 May, 2024
Venus moves to Taurus in 219 days, at Tuesday, 30 April, 2024
Mars moves to Taurus in 259 days, at Sunday, 09 June, 2024
Jupiter is currently retrograde in Taurus
Uranus is currently retrograde in Taurus
The First Quarter moon is currently 9 days old. The next new moon is at 17:55:08, 14 Oct 2023. The next full moon is at 20:24:27, 28 Oct 2023.
Ah, Taurus, my dear stubborn bull. The universe, in its infinite jest (or perhaps boredom - it’s hard to tell with celestial bodies), has decided to park not one, but TWO planets in reverse gear in your sign. Yes, both Jupiter and Uranus are currently enjoying a leisurely retrograde stroll through your cosmic backyard.
Now, Jupiter's retrograde is like a cosmic audit. It's all about re-evaluating your growth, your wisdom, and your waistline... Oh, didn’t I mention? Retrograde Jupiter also tends to bless us with sudden affinity for late-night snacks. But don't worry, your secret love affair with chips at 3 AM will remain between us, the crumbs on your bedsheet, and the vast, indifferent cosmos.
And then we have Uranus. When Uranus goes retrograde, it's like the universe has suddenly decided to play a game of interstellar "pin the tail on the donkey" with your life. You might wake up one day with a sudden urge to become a llama farmer. Or perhaps you'll decide that socks and sandals are indeed the height of fashion. Either way, expect the unexpected, embrace the bizarre, and remember that normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
As for the moon, it's currently 9 days old and in its first quarter phase, which is like the universe's version of teenage angst - too young to be full but too old to be a crescent. It's a time of growth and expansion, much like your post-Jupiter-retrograde waistline.
So my bovine friend, take this week to embrace the chaos, enjoy your midnight snacks, and remember - in the grand cosmic scheme of things, we're all just tiny specks on a tiny speck spinning around in an infinitely expanding universe. Or as I like to call it, Tuesday.
#Taurus #JupiterRetrograde #UranusRetrograde #CosmicChaos #SocksWithSandals #LateNightSnacking
Remember, life is absurd and the universe has a twisted sense of humor. So take a leaf out of my book and face it all with a healthy dose of sarcasm and self-deprecation.
#Taurus
SignToday Is Posting: 24.09.2023 07:12:01 (tau-24-09-2023)