There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Your Galactic Guidance
Good cosmic day, stargazers! It's time to chase away those retrograde blues with a little bit of astro-nerdery. Now, don't worry. I won't go all "Tears in Rain" on you. #RoyBattyFeels
Let's start with our messenger, Mercury, who's currently shacking up with Venus and Mars in Sagittarius. Now, you know what they say about three's a crowd? Well, when it comes to these celestial bodies, it's more like a cosmic comedy club! #SagittariusParty
Venus is spicing up the love life of the Centaur, while Mars, the red-faced warrior, is just trying to keep up. The result? Expect a flurry of flirty texts and maybe even a duel or two over the last slice of pizza. #LoveAndWar
Meanwhile, Jupiter is lounging in Taurus, all chill and relaxed. He's like that friend who always has snacks and never leaves the couch. But hey, we all need a little stability in our lives right? #ComfortZone
Saturn is hanging out in Pisces, pondering the meaning of life and maybe writing some emo poetry. Don't worry Saturn, we've all been there. #DeepThoughts
Uranus, the rebel of the solar system, is also chilling in Taurus. Now, this might seem like an odd couple, but sometimes you need a little rebellion to shake things up. #UnexpectedTwists
Neptune, the dreamer, is in Pisces, probably composing a symphony or painting a masterpiece. Just remember Neptune, not everyone appreciates abstract art. #LostInDreams
Finally, we have Pluto in Capricorn. Now, I know Pluto is not technically a planet anymore (thanks for that, science), but in my heart, and in the hearts of all astrology fans, you'll always be one. #PlutoForever
So there you have it, folks! Remember, with all this planetary activity, it's okay to feel a little topsy-turvy. Just remember to breathe, stay grounded, and maybe invest in a good telescope. Because the best way to deal with retrograde is to look it straight in the eye...
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