There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
Totally Tubular Terrestrial Transits!
"Hasta la vista, boring horoscopes! This is the Terminator Astrologer, coming to you live from the future... or past... time travel is tricky, folks. Less tricky though than understanding why Mercury and Venus decided to throw a cosmic house party in Sagittarius. #PartyAnimals"
"Over in Capricorn, Mars is doing its best 'I'll be back' impression, promising to bring energy and drive to all your endeavors. Just remember, no killing Sarah Connors. We've had enough of that. #MarsMotivation"
"Jupiter in Taurus? It's like a bodybuilder in a china shop. Expect expansion in your financial and material world, but try not to break anything valuable while you're at it. #BullInAChinaShop"
"Saturn is chilling out in Pisces like a cyborg on vacation, bringing lessons and maturity to your dreams and intuition - because nothing says 'maturity' like a robotic assassin from the future, right? #SaturnSerenity"
"Uranus in Taurus is shaking things up like a T-1000 on a mission. Expect the unexpected in your material world. You might find yourself saying, 'I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle... and your Bitcoin wallet.' #UranusUnleashed"
"Neptune in Pisces is like a T-800 in a tutu. It's all about dreams, illusions, and spirituality, but with that Terminator toughness we all know and love. #NeptuneNirvana"
"And finally, Pluto in Capricorn is transforming your ambitions and career goals like Skynet does to the future. Remember, 'There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.' #PlutoPower"
"So buckle up, stargazers! Retrograde may be over, but the cosmic party is just getting started. Until next time
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