There are no planets in retrograde!
Hippie Astrologer's Horoscope
Welcome to the Cosmic Comedy Club!
Hello, fellow stargazers! What a planetary retrograde party we have going on, huh? It's like the solar system decided to throw a reverse gear disco. So, buckle up, we're about to embark on a cosmic roller coaster ride.
Mercury in Pisces: The Messenger Fish
Mercury is doing the backstroke in Pisces, and communications might feel a bit like underwater ping pong. Expect your emails to read like poetic riddles and your GPS to suggest detours through Narnia. #AquaticAutoCorrect
Venus & Mars in Aquarius: The Lovebirds' Rebellion
With Venus and Mars both in Aquarius, love and passion are having a tech revolution. Prepare for a surge of Tinder super likes, and don’t be surprised if your crush sends you a heartfelt confession... via a PowerPoint presentation. #GeekyCupid
Jupiter in Taurus: The Fortune Bull
Jupiter’s hanging out in Taurus, turning our luck into stubborn bulls. Good news? Once they've decided to charge, nothing can stop them. Bad news? It might take an all-you-can-eat buffet to lure them off the couch. #CosmicCouchPotato
Saturn in Pisces: The Disciplined Dreamer
Saturn in Pisces is like your high school principal showing up at a psychedelic music festival. Expect some serious life lessons delivered with a side of dreamy mysticism. #DreamyDetention
Uranus in Taurus: The Revolutionary Bull
With Uranus in Taurus, get ready for some earth-shaking changes served with a stubborn resistance to change. It's like trying to install updates on a computer that insists it's already perfect. #StubbornSoftware
Neptune in Pisces: The Mystic Fish
Neptune in Pisces is like a deep dive into the ocean of our collective subconscious. So if you find yourself day
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