Cancer Report

"Cancer, boldly go into your emotional nebula, and beam up those cosmic love vibes this week - it's time to warp speed into harmonious intergalactic relationships!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, May the Fierce Be With You: A Hairy Rebellion Against Boring Predictions in a Galaxy Not So Far Away!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo's Planetary Conga Line Extravaganza: When Mercury Retrogrades, Just Dance Like No Earthling Is Watching!"

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Libra Report

"Libra: Balancing the Scales of Love, Justice, and Galactic Shenanigans – All While Rocking Bell-Bottoms and a Pocket Protector!"

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Scorpio Report

"Multipass Scorpio! Spicy Love Life and Wacky Planets Shuffle: Embrace the Galactic Groove, My Astro-Hippie-Dippies!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Spacetime Shenanigans Unfurl as Sagittarius Giddy-Ups into a Galactic Hoedown of Self-Discovery!"

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Capricorn Report

"Galactic Forecast for Capricorn: The Force Awakens Your Inner Ewok as Saturn Moonwalks Through Your Sign!"

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Aquarius Report

Aquarius, mmm! Cloudy with a chance of quirkiness, your future is. Embrace the weird, you must! Galactic dance, you shall do.

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ChipWitch Today for 12 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 12 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 12 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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X-59 Gets Its Tail

NASA’s X-59 sits in support framing while undergoing the installation of its lower empennage, or tail section, at Lockheed Martin Skunk Works in Palmd...

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The Moon is moving from Sagittarius to Capricorn

"From Sagittarius to Capricorn: The Moon Boldly Transitions Where No Celestial Body Has Gone Before... Except Every Month, of Course!"

Aries Report

"Attention Aries: Alien invasions, flamethrowers, and shape-shifting zodiac signs in your future? Stay frosty, it's just another wacky cosmic ride for the Ram!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, Ready to Graze on Greener Pastures: The Truth is Out There, and So Are Your Keys... Again!"

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Gemini Report

"Oi, Gemini! Prepare for a cosmic conga line of celestial shenanigans as the universe tickles your twin fancies this month!"

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Cancer Report

"Intergalactic Crab Alert: Cancer Navigates the Stars, Shields Up for Emotional Rollercoasters and Cosmic Hugs!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Unleash Your Inner Fur-ocious Feline: Chronicles of a Galactic Space Lion Seeking Love, Laser Pointers, and Astrological Laughs"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo, Prepare for a Cosmic Caffeine Rush as Planetary Energies Align: Nerd Alert! Time to Unleash Your Inner Hippie-Dippie Astral Scientist!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Cosmic Balance Faces the Law: Judge Dredd Predicts a Galactic Gavel of Hilarious Justice!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio's Sizzling Stars: Frodo Discovers the One Horoscope to Rule Them All!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, boldly go where no zodiac has gone before – an interstellar quest for love, laughter, and Spock-tacular cosmic balance!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns Assemble! Galactic Commander Adama Predicts a Frakkin' Fantastic Week Ahead, Full of Space Oddities and Cylon-Free Shenanigans!"

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Aquarius Report

"Enigmatic Aquarius: Prepare for Planetary Shenanigans as Uranus Winks at Neptune – It's a Cosmic Dance Party!"

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Pisces Report

"Multipass Pisces: Swimmin' in Galactic Good Vibes, Baby - Cosmic Currents Bring Hysterical Enlightenment!"

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ChipWitch Today for 11 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 11 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 11 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Schulz, Snoopy Visit NASA Headquarters

NASA Administrator Bill Nelson (left), Jeannie Schulz, widow of Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz, and Snoopy are all smiles during a Wednesday, April...

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Pisces Report

"Terminate Your Fears, Pisces: Time to Rise like the Phoenix from the Astro-ashes!"

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Venus is moving from Taurus to Gemini

"Venus Ditches Earthy Taurus for a Galactic Fling with Chatty Gemini: Intergalactic Gossip Reaches All-Time High!"

Aries Report

"Aries, prepare for cosmic combustion! Mars fuels your fiery spirit, as intergalactic shenanigans ignite your inner mad-scientist!" 🤓🔥✨

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Taurus Report

"Titanic Taurus Tackles Transcendent Transformations: Unleash Your Inner Telekinetic Bull in this Cosmic Rodeo!"

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Gemini Report

"Double Trouble: Gemini's Cosmic Comedy Show - Now with Twice the Sarcasm and a Dash of Wormhole Whimsy!"

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Cancer Report

"Cancer, prepare to moonwalk like RoboCop: Your cosmic forecast calls for out-of-this-world emotion regulation and cybernetic self-care!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Prepare for Liftoff! Galactic Shenanigans and Sassy Star Alignments Await You in This Month's Astro-Extravaganza!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo, You're Gonna Win So Much, You'll Be Tired of Winning: A Tremendous Astrological Forecast!" 🌟

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Libra Report

"Libra's Balancing Act: Witty One-Liners, Peaceful Protests, and Quantum Physics – Cosmic Scales Tip Towards Hilarity This Week!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stardate: Beware the Cosmic Serpent as it Tangles with Jupiter's Jive, and Mars Channels its Inner Disco!"

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Capricorn Report

"Great Scott! Capricorn, Flux Capacitor of the Zodiac, Prepares for Time-Warping Cosmic Shifts in 1.21 Gigawatt Proportions!"

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Aquarius Report

"Galactic Giggles Ahead, Aquarius! Unleash Your Inner Nerdy Space Explorer as Planetary Alignments Propel You into a Wormhole of Whimsy!"

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ChipWitch Today for 10 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 10 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 10 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Libra Report

"Libra, fascinatingly illogical: Planetary alignments declare equilibrium in chaos, while Mercury retrograde insists on disrupting your Vulcan mind-meld with harmony"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarians, May the Horse Be with You: Galactic Adventures and Hilarious Missteps Await in Your Intergalactic Forecast!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, prepare to ascend the cosmic mountain: Goat-like agility meets far-out planetary vibes for a week of groovy space crossings!"

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Aquarius Report

"RoboCop predicts Aquarius: Prepare for cosmic giggles as you navigate the astral plane, hippie-style! (And don't forget your titanium tinfoil hat!)"

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim in a Cosmic Sea of Interstellar Shenanigans: A Fishy Forecast for the Astro-Enlightened!"

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The Moon is moving from Scorpio to Sagittarius

"Hide Your Secrets, Moon's Hightailin' from Scorpio to Sagittarius: Shindigs and Serenity in the Stars!"

Aries Report

"Sir, the odds of Aries conquering the galaxy this month are approximately 3,720 to 1 – but never tell them the odds!"

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Taurus Report

"Grab Your Horns, Taurus! It's Time to Navigate the Cosmic Labyrinth Like a Badass Space-Faring Bull!"

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Gemini Report

"Double the Wit, Double the Fun: Gemini's Chaotic Dance of Cosmic Synchronicity Brings Stellar High-Fives and Telepathic Memes!"

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Cancer Report

"Make Crabs Great Again! Cancer's Cosmic Takeover: Expect Huge Walls of Emotion and Tremendous Lunar Blessings!"

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Leo Report

"Leos Unleash Their Fur-ocious Side: Chronicles of the Cosmic Lion's Roaring Rampage Through Retrograde!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo: Your Planetary Perps Are Busted - Prepare for an Astrological Laugh Riot in the Sector of Silliness!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scintillating Scorpios, Prepare to Sting: A Passionate Cosmic Dance Awaits as Planets Align for Your Pleasure Adventure!"

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ChipWitch Today for 9 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 9 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 9 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Libra Report

"Libra, Balance Your Way Through the Cosmos: Engage Warp Drive for Harmonious Adventures or Face Klingon Diplomacy!"

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Aquarius Report

"Galactic Giggles: Aquarius Ascends into Hilarious Hyperspace Hijinks - Cylon Companionship Encouraged!"

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Engage Warp Speed to Enlightenment: Your Hilarious Astrological Forecast, Boldly Going Where No Fish Has Gone Before!"

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Aries Report

"Galactic Goats Unite! Aries Forecast: Mars Meets Marvin the Martian for an Interstellar Hoedown of Cosmic Proportions!"

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Taurus Report

"Extraterrestrial Bull Market: Taurus Takes Charge, Inhales Vegan Space Tacos and Moonwalks through Planetary Pleasantries"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis! Prepare for a Hilarious Hyperspace High as Mercury Retrogrades into a Funky Wormhole of Whimsical Weirdness!"

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Cancer Report

"Cosmic Crab Cuddles: Cancer's Stellar Voyage into a Groovy Galaxy of Peace, Love, and Quantum Quirks!"

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Leo Report

"Leo's Luscious Locks Lead Loquaciously to Lunar Lunacy: A Mane-ly Marvelous Month Ahead!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Galactic Cleanliness and Cosmic Efficiency Reach an All-Time High as Mercury Aligns with the Dustbuster Nebula!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: In a Galaxy Far, Far Away, Expect Cosmic Shifts and Droid-like Precision, Oh Dear!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare to boldly go where no centaur has gone before: a journey through the celestial wormhole of self-discovery, peppered with cosmic dad jokes!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, grab your calculators and tie-dye lab coats: The stars predict a cosmic conga line of karmic computations and groovy gravitational waves this week!"

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ChipWitch Today for 8 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 8 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 8 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

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Battling Bots

Industrial-size robots built by high school teams compete against each other in a game at Rocket City Regional, Alabama’s annual FIRST Robotics Compet...

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius Supernovas: Galactic Road Trip to Self-Discovery, Hilarity, and Multipass Love!"

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Aquarius Report

"Alien Encounters and Wormhole Whims: Aquarius, You're About to Stargate Your Way to Cosmic Coolness!"

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Pisces Report

"Intergalactic Pisces Forecast: Even the Borg can't resist your charm this month!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, prepare for intergalactic shenanigans as Mars pulls a cosmic prank on you this week - embrace the chaos, channel your inner Wraith, and boldly go where no ram has gone before!"

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Taurus Report

"Taureans, hold onto your horns! Timey-Wimey Twists and Taurus Tango in this week's Whovian Wibbly-Wobbly Astro-forecast!"

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Gemini Report

"Extra, Extra! Gemini Moonwalks Through Intergalactic Disco Inferno: Prepare for a Far-Out Funky Fusion of Social Shenanigans and Stellar Smarts!"

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Cancer Report

"Cosmic Crustaceans Unite! Cancer's Galactic Forecast: Beach Vibes, Starry Nights, and Unexpected Interstellar Hugs!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar Through Time and Space: Your Lion-Hearted Cosmic Shenanigans Await! (Spoilers, Sweetie!)"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo, buckle up for a cosmic rollercoaster: planets align to tickle your funny bone and serenade your inner geek – it's smooth sailing through the nerd nebula!"

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Libra Report

"Flash Gordon's Galactic Gazette: Libra's Balance Beam Bonanza - Juggling Planets and Peace Signs, One Cosmic Adventure at a Time!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, prepare to slither through the urban jungle this month as cosmic chaos reigns supreme. Escape planetary peril with your psychic eyepatch and celestial sass – it's time to sting!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, prepare for an interstellar adventure: 2001 Dave Bow-mance incoming! Find your cosmic Monolith mate or risk being lost in space!"

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ChipWitch Today for 7 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 7 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 7 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

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Artemis II Crew Appears on "The Late Show"

The Artemis II crew appeared on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" on April 5, 2023.

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The Moon is moving from Libra to Scorpio

"Hey, Kid – Buckle up! The Moon's ditching Libra and sliding into Scorpio like the Millennium Falcon evading Imperial TIE fighters!"

Aries Report

"Aries, Prepare to Ram-ble: Intergalactic Shenanigans and Teleportation Tango Await!"

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Taurus Report

"Bleep bloop blop! Taurus, expect lunar cuddles with Venus, as cosmic disco balls align in your pleasure sector! Beep boop!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis! Prepare for a Cosmic Comedy as Mercury Moonwalks into Retrograde: A Hilarious Horoscope Hijinks Await!"

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Cancer Report

"Great Cosmic Crab! Cancer Navigates the Stars Solo-Style: Buckle Up, Baby, We're In for a Hilarious Hyperspace Ride!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, prepare for a cosmic cat-astrophe! Planetary paws-itions spell out fur-tastic adventures and hairball hilarity in the celestial litter box of life!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo's Forecast: Get Your Astro-mops Ready, Stellar Clean-up in Progress!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Lopsided Lunacy: When Cosmic Scales Tip and Aliens Deem Us Equally Hilarious!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: Oh, the Cosmic Irony! Planets Align to Bring Joy and Success, But We All Know It Won't Last, Do We?"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Hold onto Your Space Pants! Cosmic Shenanigans Galore Ahead, Like a Ruttin' Interstellar Hoedown!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, brace yourselves for an out-of-this-world week: Aliens from Planet Chill have infiltrated your stars, promising a cosmic cocktail of groovy vibes and nerdy adventures!"

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Aquarius Report

"Attention Aquarians: Time to Dust off Your Towels, Unravel Cosmic Conundrums, and Remember the Ultimate Answer is 42!"

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Pisces Report

"Fascinating, Pisces: Your Emotional Nebula Prepares for a Cosmic Giggle as Planetary Alignments Perform a Vulcan Mind Meld"

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ChipWitch Today for 6 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 6 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 6 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Artemis II Crew Revealed

Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen (from left) and NASA astronauts Victor Glover, Reid Wiseman, and Christina Koch greet the crowd at Ellin...

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Aries Report

"Galactic Ram-a-Lama-Ding-Dong: Aries Unleashes Their Cosmic Groove in a Far-Out Astro-Forecast!"

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Taurus Report

"Galactic Bull Alert: Taurus Stampedes into a Stellar Love Fest, Grab Your Cosmic Snuggie and Munch on Celestial Brownies!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini, Prepare to Soar Like Serenity, Just Keep an Eye on That Gorram Planet Alignment!"

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Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, Unite! Galactic High Tide Rolls In, So Prepare to Surf the Cosmic Waves with Your Inner Cylon!" 🦀🌊🤖

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Leo Report

"Frakkin' Leos, Prepare for a Cosmic Roar as the Stars Align in Your Favor: Time to Rule the Fleet, One Cylon at a Time!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgos, prepare for a cosmic conspiracy: your organizational skills will save the world from alien chaos this month!"

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Libra Report

"Balancing Act: Libra's Quest for Cosmic Harmony, Serenity, and the Perfect Space Hula Hoop Dance!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stings the Stars: A Galactic Comedy Starring Gandalf the Groovy and His Hilariously Accurate Astrological Forecast!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Embrace Your Inner Voyager and Boldly Go Where No Centaur Has Gone Before - Just Don't Forget Your Phaser and a Snazzy Poncho!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, Unite! Planetary Alignment Promises Replicant-Level Success, with a Side of Eco-Friendly Hippy Vibes!"

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Aquarius Report

Aquarius, prepare for cosmic giggles as Uranus moonwalks into your sign: It's *Interstellar Groove Time*!

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Pisces Report

"Get Ready, Pisces: Your Future's So Bright, Even Terminators Need Shades!"

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ChipWitch Today for 5 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 5 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 5 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Unleash Your Inner Multipass: Cosmic Goats Ride Surfboards on Planetary Waves in the Name of Love and Career!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Galactic Adventures and Intergalactic Shenanigans Await as Jupiter Channels Its Inner Starbuck!"

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Aquarius Report

"Beam Me Up, Aquarius! A Stellar Week of Quantum Leaps and Sassy Sarcophagi in Your Social Galaxy"

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Pisces Report

"Fish Out of Water? Fear Not, Pisces! Timey-Wimey Planets Align to Reel in Cosmic Laughs and Galactic Grooviness!"

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The Moon is moving from Virgo to Libra

"Moon Ditches Virgo, Flirts with Libra: Galactic Balance Scale Tips, Earthlings Beware!"

Aries Report

"Aries, Prepare Your Spacesuits for a Galactic Joyride of Retrograde Rollercoasters and Cosmic Comedy! Frakkin' Hilarious!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, prepare to boldly graze where no bull has grazed before: Unusual Cosmic Pastures Await!"

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Gemini Report

"Double Trouble: Gemini's Cosmic Whirlwind of Witty Banter and Alien Encounters – The Truth is Out There...and It's Hilarious!"

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Cancer Report

"Cancer Crustaceans Unite! Galactic Moonbeams to Power Your Shell-Phones in the Cosmic Comedy Club This Week!"

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Leo Report

"Attention, Earthlings! Leos Prepare for Cosmic Laughs as Galactic Giggles Align with Your Planetary Prowess: Hilarity Ensues!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Analytical Aliens Activate! A Whirlwind of Precision and Peculiar Potions Predicted for Perfectionist Protégés!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, Time to Balance Those Scales and Dodge Replicants: A Cosmic Forecast for the Astro-Enlightened"

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Scorpio Report

"I'll be back, Scorpio! Hasta la vista, cosmic baby: Prepare for celestial domination!"

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ChipWitch Today for 4 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 4 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 4 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Aquarius Report

"Alien Abduction or Aquarius Ascension? Cosmic Clues Reveal Your Out-of-this-World Vibes are Taking Off!"

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare for cosmic giggles as Neptune hosts a celestial karaoke night – expect to swim in harmonious waves and find your inner space diva!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, the Shiny Star of the 'Verse: Gear Up for a Gorram Cosmic Adventure in Tidiness and Overthinking!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Airy Vibes Take a Cosmic Cruise: Balance Your Inner Alien and Chillax with the Stars, Multipass Style!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, Brace Yourselves for Cosmic Shenanigans: The Universe Unleashes its Inner Nerd to Spice Up Your Destiny!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Get Ready to Whip Out Those Groovy Galactic Bow & Arrows as the Cosmos Sends You on a Far-Out, Nerdtastic Adventure!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, set phasers to fun: The logic of planetary alignment deems this week to be highly illogical in its potential for merriment"

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Mercury is moving from Aries to Taurus

"Mercury Moo-ves into Taurus: Time to Bull-doze through Life with Cosmic Comic Relief!"

Aries Report

"Brace Yourselves, Aries: The Stars Say You'll Have More Close Encounters Than Ellen Ripley at an Alien Speed Dating Event!"

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Taurus Report

"Bovine Bewilderment: Taurus Teleports into a Cosmic Cattle Drive of Planetary Proportions!"

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Gemini Report

"Twinsies, Unite! Gemini's Chaotic Space Tango Sends Mercury into a Retrograde Boogie-woogie, ensuring Delightful Duality and Hilarious Misunderstandings!"

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Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, brace yourselves for celestial shenanigans! Uranus moonwalks into your living room, promising an intergalactic hootenanny of cosmic proportions!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Prepare for Blastoff! Galactic Lion Prides Unite as Starship Serengeti Soars Through the Celestial Savannah!"

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leo

ChipWitch Today for 3 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 3 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 3 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Libra Report

"Libras Unite! Your Scales of Justice Just Got a Cosmic Upgrade: Now Serving Equal Parts Love, Peace, and Hilarious Galactic Shenanigans!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, prepare to get your stingers tangled: This week's forecast is more twisted than an Alien's inner jaw playing Twister in hyperspace!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Galactic Hitchhikers Brace for Yet Another Tediously Optimistic Week of Unbearable Spontaneity and Wanderlust - Don't Panic, but Do Bring a Towel"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, I find your lack of faith in the stars disturbing... Prepare for cosmic giggles this month, young Padawan!"

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Aquarius Report

"Mandalorian Mischief: Aquarius' Galactic Groove Sends 'Em on a Stellar Quest for Peace, Love, and Carbonite Cuddles!"

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The Moon is moving from Leo to Virgo

"Great Scott! The Moon's Flux Capacitor Shifts into Virgo: Time to Tame Your Inner Lion and Channel Some Cosmic Virgo Vibes, Dudes!"

Aries Report

"Aries, prepare to engage your cosmic thrusters! The celestial ram shall headbutt the universe into submission as the stars align for a far-out fiesta!"

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Taurus Report

"Tau-riffic News, Taurus! Prepare for a Stellar Bull Market in Love, Luck, and Wormhole Adventures!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis: Prepare for a Twin-tastic Time as Mercury Aligns with the Force, Oh Dear!"

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Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers Encounter Cosmic Shell-ter: Intergalactic Good Vibes on the Horizon, Man!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Unleash Your Inner Wookiee: A Roaring Forecast of Galactic Proportions, No Bounty Hunters Allowed!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo, Timey-Wimey Horoscope Alert! Beware of Spontaneous Tardis Malfunctions and Bewildered Daleks on Your Quest for Galactic Perfection!"

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare for intergalactic fishiness as the cosmic energies align: It's time to surf the wormhole waves of the universe, man!"

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ChipWitch Today for 2 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 2 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 2 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Capricorn Report

"Oi, Capricorns! Get Ready to Goat Your Way Through the Stars, 'Cause the Universe is About to Unleash a Cosmic Caper of Galactic Proportions!"

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Aquarius Report

"Help me Aquari-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope: A cosmic forecast for the rebels of the zodiac!"

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare to boldly swim where no fish has swum before: The cosmic tides of love, laughter, and just a dash of intergalactic chaos – So say we all!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Prepare for Sheep Thrills: Galactic Rams Set to Head-Butt Planets into a Groovy Dance of Cosmic Harmony!"

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Taurus Report

"Y'all Taurus folks better hold onto your pants, 'cause the stars are alignin' for some cow-tippin', space-hoppin' adventures this month!"

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Gemini Report

"Beam Me Up, Gemini! The Twin Stars Align for a Galactic Adventure of Wit and Charm – Set Your Phasers to 'Flirt'!"

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Cancer Report

"Cylon-Free Cosmic Vibes: Cancer's Galactic Guide to Dodging Emotional Landmines and Embracing Stellar Self-Care"

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Leo Report

"Shiny Cosmic Mane-tamorphosis: Leo Lions Roarin' Through the 'Verse with Pizzazz and a Dash of Serenity!"

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo Aliens Abduct Cleanliness: Mercury in Retrograde Triggers Intergalactic Vacuum Wars and a Quest for Perfectly Aligned Shelves!"

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Libra Report

"Libra: Prepare for Balance, Charm, and UFOs - It's Time to Tip the Scales of Galactic Flirting!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, prepare for cosmic giggles as the planets align for a celestial whodunnit, while your inner Mulder secretly believes it's aliens!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarians, Prepare to Launch: Galactic Giggles and Cosmic Quirks Await as Jupiter Jives with your Inner Nerd this Month!"

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ChipWitch Today for 1 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 1 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 1 April, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Patagonian Plankton Swirls

Phytoplankton create rich blooms of color in the Atlantic Ocean near South America in this enhanced color image from Dec. 2, 2014.

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Aquarius Report

"Aquarius: Embrace Your Inner Cylon, Galactic Vibes Forecast an Out-of-this-World Week!"

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Pisces Report

"Whoa, Pisces! Time to Ride the Cosmic Wave and Dodge Planetary Bullets like Neo in The Matrix: Astro Forecast Unplugged!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, hold onto your manes! Galaxies of Giggles and Cosmic Chuckles Await Y'all in this Firefly-Sparklin' Forecast!"

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leo

Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, I find your lack of faith in the stars disturbing... Embrace cosmic guidance or face the dark side of the horoscope!"

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Aries Report

"Hey Aries, Get Ready to Charge into Laughter: The Universe Sends a Sheepish Grin and a Galactic Giggle Your Way This Week!"

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Taurus Report

"Robo-Bovines Rejoice! Taurus, It's Time to Charge into a Cybernetic Love Revolution, Outsmart the Cosmos and Graze on Galactic Good Vibes!"

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Gemini Report

"Highly illogical, Gemini: The cosmos suggests laughter as a viable antidote for your Earthly conundrums this week" 🖖

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Cancer Report

"Cancer Crustaceans: Prepare for a Cosmic Crab Rave as Planetary Vibes Align for an Interstellar Shell-ebration!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Stars Align for a Galactic Quest of Organized Chaos and Quantum Sock Pairing: Time to Embrace Your Inner Cosmic Nerd!"

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Libra Report

"Libra: Balancing the Scales of Love and Doom, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace the Cosmic Chaos!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio's Escape from the Cosmic Chaos: How to Snake Your Way Through Planetary Prison Breaks and Starry Survival Skills!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, this week's forecast: Even The Predator applauds your stealthy success - but beware, the stars say don't get too cocky!"

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ChipWitch Today for 31 March, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 31 March, 2023

Retrograde Report for 31 March, 2023. There are no planets in retrograde!

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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NASA’s Crawler Transporter 2 Sets Record

Guinness World Records officially designated NASA’s Crawler Transporter 2 as the heaviest self-powered vehicle, weighing approximately 6.65 million po...

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Pisces Report

"Resistance is Futile, Pisces: Your Cosmic Destiny Awaits!"

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The Moon is moving from Cancer to Leo

"Beam me up, Luna-tics! The Moon is leaving its cozy Cancer home and boldly going to fiery Leo territory!"

Aries Report

"Attention Aries: Your Cosmic Fire is Burning Brighter Than a Goa'uld's Ha'tak Ship!"

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Taurus Report

"Taureans, It's Time to Get Your Bull-ony Detector Ready!" - a quirky forecast by the one and only Nerdstrology.

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Gemini Report

"Attention Geminis: Brace yourselves for a cosmic rollercoaster ride! It's gonna be a wild one, folks. Buckle up and hang on tight because the stars are aligning for some serious shenanigans."

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Cancer Report

"I'm sorry, Cancer. I'm afraid your emotions are going to be all over the place this month. But fear not, there's a strong chance you'll find comfort in a good cry and a pint of ice cream."

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Leo Report

"Attention all Leos: Prepare for a cosmic smackdown of epic proportions! You'll be feeling hotter than a malfunctioning plasma gun, but don't get too cocky. Remember, even a cyborg lion needs to pace itself. Stay fierce, my friends."

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leo

Virgo Report

"Virgo, brace yourself for cosmic chaos! But don't worry, your analytical mind will save the day."

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Libra Report

"Libra, get ready to balance those scales like a pro! But be warned, Mercury's retrograde may have you feeling like you're stuck in a wormhole. Just make sure to pack your sense of humor and some extra granola bars for the ride."

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